Where It All Started
by nycmmefatle
Summary: Inspired by the movie Juno. When blunt and crass, Bella Swan becomes pregnant. Will she keep the baby? What are the consequences of her actions? Is she ready to become a mother? How will she tell her friends and family?
1. Chapter 1

~Where It All Started~

A/N: This story is inspired by the movie Juno. I will from time to time use one or two lines from the movie.

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. And No copyright infringement was intended for Twilight or Juno.**

Prologue

Two little lines.

Who would've known that something so miniscule and trivial could be so life-altering? Two small, pink parallel lines were all it took to knock my world off its naïve axis.

I've taken the test three times, only to be faced with same haunting result every single time. And no matter how much I hope, wish, and pray, I couldn't erase the two pink lines. Hell, but it wasn't without effort, I'll tell you that.

I still can't believe it. I, Bella Swan, the weird girl, the outcast, and social pariah was pregnant.

Holy…fucking…Shit!


	2. My Story, Where it all Started

~Where It All Started~

A/N: This story is inspired by the movie Juno. I will from time to time use one or two lines from the movie.

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. And No copyright infringement was intended for Twilight or Juno.**

Chapter 1

Forks, Washington. The most boring, worthless, piece of shit town in the history of the fucking universe! A place where everyone knows everyone and everyone knows your secret.

Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, my hippie parents Charles Swan and Renee Higginbotham settled down and got hitched in the Podunk town of Forks, when Renee turned up pregnant. I for one can't even fathom how that happened. I mean, I know how Renee became pregnant, I know the mechanics that come with baby making. What I don't get is the _how_ she got pregnant. I mean with all the various things that hippies shared, you would think that condoms would have been a pretty hot commodity in the communal circulation in a hippie commune, but I digress. Moving on…Being the stand-up guy that he is Charlie, my dad, became of all things, a police officer. Well, how bout them apples, eh? With the news of his unborn child, Charlie had to institutionalize and become one of the very people he detested, had to go and work for "The Man". Renee, the egg donor in my reproductive make-up, couldn't let herself be tied down to one man and a child; oh, no too oppressive, you see her soul had to be free, without earthly ties, so that she can go a free spirit. Which we all know today as a civil way to say a dirty low-down slut, or is that just me? So as you can imagine, when I was able to walk and not a minute sooner, she bolted. Good riddance, if you asked me.

So now it's just me, my dad, my step mom Sue, and my half-siblings Leah and Seth. We are not your average, run-of-the-mill family. Not by any means…

My stepmom owns a bookstore/Native American souvenir shop, and is obsessed with the Quileute tribe and their connection to wolves. She even refers to me and my siblings by marriage as her "pack". Sometimes I swear I hear her howling at the moon. My more rational and sensible self concludes that the howling is just Sue's moaning from Charlie's mind-blowing bedroom skills; but I don't listen to her (my sensible, sane self) very often, because 1. Who wants to believe that their parents are having sex. And 2. well, you know, what does she know anyway? Because truthfully, Sue does a lot of weird, screwball things that just backs up my theory that she just plain crazy. Like whenever we go to the local diner for steaks, she orders hers rare, which I just think is wrong. Why order a piece a great prime meat only to have it platted up barely cooked with blood still gushing from the middle. And if that isn't crazy enough, Sue has these urns that she stole from the old Quileute ruins in La Push, that she swears hold the reincarnations of us all, and no one is allowed to touch them because we will disturb their resting place and mess up the order of something or the other...I forget because I usually just tune her out when she starts babbling on. But you get my point, Sue is a couple of fries short of a happy meal. But it's not just her, no; my dad is incapable of feelings. Sometimes I swear he is a robot. He rarely laughs or smiles. I haven't seen him hug anything in all my 17 years on this earth, including me. Nope, the only thing you'll get out of my dad is the occasional grunt here or there. The only emotional moment that I witnessed my dad have was when he won a season pass to the Mariners in a radio contest. He let out a surprised gasp of pure shock, and thanked the man profusely.

I think he teared up a bit, but then again that could've just been the sun in his eyes.

With these two wack jobs as parents, you would assume that any kids that would come out of this mating, couldn't possibly be normal and you would be wrong! My alien half brother and sister are the most sickly straight laced kids I have ever had the displeasure of knowing. They are so cookie cutter that it's scary. The have acne free perfect russet colored skin, that contrast nicely with their perfect white teeth. They smile, and say please and thank you. Every adult loves them…and it's just disturbing. They are every parents dream.

I, on the other hand, am every parent's nightmare.

I'm blunt, crude, loud, sarcastic, and crass. And I just don't give a fuck. I enjoy making people uncomfortable, and I could give a damn about what I wear as long as I am comfortable. I'm the town's black sheep. The weirdo girl.

And it would suck being the outcast, if it wasn't for my best friend and soul sister, Mary Alice Brandon. She's 4'9", 115 pounds of pure raw hyperness. She is the poster child for perky. She's even the captain of the cheerleading squad. And many people wonder why we are friends, when we're so opposite. But that couldn't be farther from the truth. We're not that much different. Under all that hype and pep, Alice is a super huge mega bitch of epic proportions. She is so out there and in your face, that she almost gives me a run for my money. (Pfft! Like I'd ever run, as if!) But anyways…Alice gets me. She is the ying to my yang. The see to my saw. The Bert to my Ernie. The Batman to my Robin. And a lot of other dynamic duos that I can't think of right now. Which is why I know that she will know what to do with my "situation".

"_Lauren Mallory is officially on my shit list!"_ was her greeting when she answered my call.

"What did the wretched whore bag do now?" I asked, awaiting the day's juicy gossip. See my eyes, yep, rolled em'.

"_The __**slut**__ had the nerve to flirt with Jasper, right in front of me!" _She screeched, obviously pissed off. _"Even though, everybody knows that I have dibs on him!"_

I gasp in mock outrage, "How dare she not respect the sacristy of the dib!"

"_Bella, this is not the time to be a sarcastic bitch! There is a diseased covered cunt rag going after my man!"_

The man in question. Jasper Hezekiah Whitlock, our U.S. History teacher. Alice claims fell in love with out tall, honey blonde dork of a teacher the moment he opened his luscious mouth, and his thick southern accent graced her ears. Her words not mine. You see, Alice had this fetish for older guys, and cowboys. Mr. Whitlock happened to be both. Alice wants nothing more than to have Mr. Whitlock lasso her up and bend her over his desk…a good ole' hoedown, she calls it. Cue shudder. The chick has problems, but who am I to judge, right? To each is own, and all that good stuff. According to Alice, they are getting married, he just don't know it yet. She has a _feeling._ And you'll learn quickly not to bet against one of Alice's feelings, not matter how strange. Gotta love Alice!

"Ok, Ali, I'm going to need you to take the melo-drama down by like 16 notches; besides everyone knows that you and Mr. Whitlock are perfect for eachother."

"Ok, I am just going to assume that you are being sincere and not just being your usual bitchy, sarcastic self. But you know what happens when you assume…"

"Ali, I'm pregnant…"

"Ok, now I really don't know if you're being serious or not. Pregnant? Like pregnant, pregnant? You're not just making this up, are? Pregnant, no! Are you sure it's not just a gas baby?"

"Yes, Alice, pregnant, pregnant! Why would I make that up? And what the fuck is a gas baby?"

"Oh, it's—"

"Alice!"

"What?"

"I tell you, I'm pregnant, and you're focused on educating me on the intricate details of a gas baby? As if I give a flying fuck!"

"Wait…you're serious?"

"Deadly!" I deadpan.

"Holy shit!" She breathed heavily, "HOLY SHIT!"

"That's more of the reaction that I was expecting."

"Wow, are you sure?"

"Yeah, dude, I drank my weight in Sunny D this afternoon while down at the corner store, and took like three test. All the while being harassed by Tyler Crowley, douchebag extraordinaire, and all the test came back positive."

"Wow.."

"I know."

"But wait, I thought you weren't going to have sex, for like…ever, especially after being with two-pump-chump, Jacob Black,"

Jacob Black, the longest relationship I've ever had, and whom I gave my deflowering privileges to .We grew up together, because our dads have this unhealthy bromance thing going on. I'm pretty sure they planned on us living happily ever after. We had a good relationship, until we had sex. Everything went downhill from there. Besides the fact that the sex was less than satisfactory on my part, there was no connection. I felt like I was having sex with my brother. And I don't know about any of you, but that doesn't get me all hot and bothered.

"You see what had happened was…you know what, I'm not even going to lie."

"So…who's the father?"

_Oh hey, Marty!_ I guess we're finally addressing the bright, pink elephant in the room. I knew she was going to ask this question sooner or later.

I sigh, and grumbled out the answer. "Edward"

"Masen!"

Aaawww, here it goes…


	3. Informing Masen

~Where It All Started~

A/N: This story is inspired by the movie Juno. I will from time to time use one or two lines from the movie.

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. And No copyright infringement was intended for Twilight or Juno.**

Chapter 2

When it came to best guy friends, Edward Masen was totally boss. He stands at about 6'3", medium build, pale white skin, forest green eyes, and he has the sickest hair do that I have ever had the pleasure to feast my eyes upon. It has this usually funky red and coppery color to it, and is sticks up at all these crazy angles almost as if it has a mind of its own. He's a self-proclaimed rock god, and the founder/leader of our two-person garage indie rock band. _That's what I let him think, at least; _only because his garage isn't filled to capacity with copious amounts of wolf collectables. Besides his bought of narcissism, Edward is actually a really kick ass guy. He's quick witted and has a sick sense of humor. He laughs at all of my jokes; even the crudest ones. He even offers his own, but his jokes have a more mischievous undertone to them; especially when he throws in that stupidly crooked grin of his. _The little perv. _Oh, and his style of dress is so eccentric, that it rivals my own. Basically, Edward is me with a cock. Maybe that's why we get along so well. Most of the ra-tards in this town can't process the pure genius that I spurt out of face hole, but Edward is freaking bar none. There's never an odd or dull moment when we're together. We were even cracking jokes the night we danced the horizontal tango, as Edward refers to it. The night we "did the do" was like any other time that we hung out. We were down in my basement, in a heated debate about the pros and cons of being a prostitute, when Sue's Siberian husky, Wolfie (creative, I know) started to hump Ed's leg. Don't ask me why, but seeing the dog defile my best friends leg, awakened my inner sexual deviant. You know, the one that had been dormant for an about a year. Yeah, well, the whore decided to rear her slutty head at that moment, and who am I to deny a whore her fun? So I set Roxanne, my inner whore, off to divide and conquer. Besides, it was high time that Edward lost his virginity. _Roxanne nods indignantly. _When it was all said and done, I was sated and a lot less grumpy in my post coital state; and Edward wasn't offering any words of disapproval. In fact, from the stupid grin that seemed to be permanently pasted on his face, it would be safe for me to say that his first time was enjoyable. I climbed off his lap and waddled my way to the bathroom to clean up, and we watched a movie until his mom called him for dinner. When I cleaned up that night, the under ware that I was wearing were nowhere to be found, and I had a sneaking suspicion of who had taken them. _The perv._

"What are you going to do? Are you keeping it? How are you going to tell him? _Are_ you going to tell him? How do you think he will react? How—"Alice sprouted off, knocking me back into the present.

"Alice, calm the fuck down! Yes, I'm going to tell him, I just don't know how, especially since I don't plan on keeping it."

"Oh, good!" She sigh, relieved. "Do you know what a baby could do to your figure? Especially since you're so young and lazy! Pregnancy is not for every woman. Hey, did you know that babies do serious damage to a cooch? It's true, so women even have to have the vag sewn back up!"

Even though I can't see it, I know that she ended that speech with a stern nod. Alice always was an open encyclopedia, when the moment never calls for it.

"Are you scared?"

"About what Alice?"

"Everything, the pregnancy, telling Masen, the abortion? Take your pick."

"Telling Edward shouldn't be that hard, awkward, yeah probably, but that's kind of expected. Can you imagine that convo? And sure I'm scared about the abortion, but it has to be done; and he has a right to know. I can't keep it; I wouldn't know the first thing to do with a baby." I sigh, feeling the effects of this long and trying day.

"Well, hon, you know that I'm here for you if you need me. I could even take you to the place." She offered.

"No, I was just planning on going after school on Wednesday, no biggie, you know just a get in and get out sort of thing."

"Ok, well, if you're sure…" She trails off.

"I am." I state with conviction.

"Ok, well, call me later, Bells."

"Aye-ye Captain!" I mock salute, and then hang up.

And know I was off to rock the world of one Edward Masen and not in the good way either.

~Where It All Started~

The Masens lived in a cozy three-story home about six blocks from my house, and it was the cliché to end all clichés. It looked as though it was erected from a little twelve-year-old girl's dream. What with its two-car garage, red door, tire and porch swing and white picket fence, it oozed enough nauseatingly normalcy to make me almost gag every time I saw it. Edward's dad, appropriately dubbed Edward Sr., was _the_ high-end lawyer in Forks, and wasn't afraid to let it be known. Elizabeth, Eddie boy's mom, was nothing more than a doting housewife. There at her husband's every beck and call, always perfectly in line, not a curl out of place. _Cue eye roll. _I never knew why women subjected themselves to being a man's servant once they are bonded by the chains of nuptial unity. But Liz seemed perfectly happy being big poppa Ed's lap dog and I let my disapproval and disdain known as often as I can. _Maybe that's why the woman hates my guts. Huh, and I always thought it was because she thought I was trying to corrupt her innocent little baby boy. Oh, If only she knew. She would have three cows!_

I snicker to myself, as I knock on the Masen's door. And as my shitty luck would have it, Elizabeth answered the door.

"Hey, Liz, looking good! Have you lost weight? I heard sex was a great carb burner and stress reliever. You know, _wink wink!"_

_**Great, Bella! You are the last person to be cracking sex jokes, don't ya think?**_

_Hey, just because I'm pregnant, doesn't mean that I have to stop being funny…or truthful!_

Liz's face still hold the look of pure disregard, she had when she realized I was the one knocking at her door, and I doubt it was going to change any time soon, so I cut the jokes and got straight to the point.

I clear my throat, at the awkward silence, even though I only want to reveal in it. "Uh, is Edward here?"

"Uh, no, he actually—"She starts, but is cut off by the tell-tale sound of Edward playing his guitar.

"So…"I say, placing my foot over the threshold, "I think I am going…to…go…up and see him." I say as I slip past her, before she could shut the door in my face, or turn me into stone with her death glare from hell.

I start my trek up the stairs, only to be assaulted with the sound of Liz's footsteps a few feet behind.

"Uh, Liz, I'm pretty sure I could find my way to Edward's room. I mean I'm in there more than you…at times." I trail off suggestively, just for the hell of it.

Liz's face turns a bright red, and her eyes flash with what only can be described as pure ire. Her grip on the banister seemed to tighten to the point to where I swore her hand would be engraved into it. But she quickly composed herself. _Damn, and I was really hoping for a show._

"Oh, it's not that _Isabella_, I just wanted to make sure Edward had all of his laundry done." Lies, all lies, Liz does all their laundry on Sunday, and since it's 5 o'clock on a Friday afternoon, I know that she is only following me to try to get to Edward before I do.

And she only used my full name to piss me off. So I smirk, and decide to go in for the kill.

"C'mon, Liz, we both know that real reason why you're escorting me to Edward's room. But seriously, if we wanted to have sex, we wouldn't have sex in your home while you're downstairs. We would go somewhere where we would have some privacy. Somewhere like, oh I don't know, a random dressing room in the mall, the back seat of his Volvo, my basement, or wherever else our raging teen hormones deem fit. But never in your home, no, we were brought up right." I snicker, but that snicker turns into a booming laugh, and gasping breaths when I see the look of pure shock and disgust on her face.

"I'm kidding Liz, geesh, lighten up a bit, it was only a joke!" I giggle, finishing off my laughing fit. "Maybe you do need the sex!" With that, I sprint up the stairs and into Edward's room.

I slam the door, and use it for leverage, as I feel another upcoming round of laughter.

Edward stops playing and his head jerks up at the unexpected intrusion. His whole face lights up, when he sees me. _And I bet that I am quite the sight! Face red, and tear stricken from my crazy laughter._

Edward is clearly amused by my state of silliness. "What you'd do this time?"

"Oh, you know the usual," I say, sobering up. "Bringing terror to the fragile heart of good ole' mommy dearest."

Edward chuckles, "I swear, you're going to give her a heart attack, Bella."

"Don't tempt me, Masen." I scowl playfully. "Seriously, how many years does your mom, have left? I mean it can't be much, since she spends all her days within these four dreadfully painted walls."

Edward just shakes his head, and continues to play.

"So…I'm pregnant…" I say, not seeing a reason to beat around the bush.

The playing cease, I think I even hear a string snap.

It takes a minute for him to answer. Which is expected.

"What are we going to do? Should I get a ring? or should we got to the courthouse, and worry about the ring later?" _Ok, that wasn't expected!_

Marriage? Was he serious?

"No! God, no, Mase! I mean, not that you're not marriage potential, because you totally are."

"So what are we going to do?"

"_We _don't have to do anything. I, on the other hand, am going to make an appointment at the abortion agency thingy."

"_Abortion?" _He whispers.

"Yeah, Mase. I can't keep it. I mean I'm in high school, I don't even know what I'm having for dinner tonight, let alone what I'm going to do in the future. But I know without a shadow of doubt that a baby isn't included in that future, especially the near. I wouldn't even know how to even be a good mother, what with mine walking out on me. And—it's- it's just for the best Mase."

"Yeah, yeah, you're probably right." He says, his voice emotionless and his head down toward the ground.

"Mase?" I ask, praying that he would look up at me, and see the helplessness in my eyes.

When he finally does look at me, I only can detect despair in his eyes. But it quickly vanishes when his whole face hardens in determination.

"Are you sure we can't—"

"I'm more than sure Edward! I'm pretty sure that we get nothing but ridicule and disapproval if we keep it. And I can't ruin our futures, especially since yours is so bright. I won't do it." I say, my voice cracking as some emotion, which I rarely show, seeps through.

His face is wiped of any emotion as he says, "Well, I guess you got to do, what you got to do."

I simply nod. As we both fall silent, the tension in Edward's room becomes almost suffocating.

"So…I guess I'll be going now….See ya around Edward." I say before I practically run down the stairs, bypassing a confused stricken Liz.

Once outside the oppressing house, I draw in a much needed breath. And start my journey back home to make the call that was bound to make my life normal again. Normal, pfft, whatever that is! As Edward's house becomes smaller and smaller, I realize that normal is something that Edward and I will never be again.

_**A/N: Hate it or love? Leave me a review and let me know how I'm doing!**_


	4. Going through with it?

~Where It All Started~

A/N: This story is inspired by the movie Juno. I will from time to time use one or two lines from the movie.

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. And No copyright infringement was intended for Twilight or Juno.**

Chapter 3

"_**Good Afternoon, you have reached Planned Parenthood, this is Maria speaking, and how may I help you today?"**_The voice on the receiving end droned. _Someone's obviously in a happy mood._

"Uh…yeah…_god, I can't believe_…so I would like to make a…you know…a uh appointment."

"OK, uh, we have an opening for tomorrow and on Thursday, would any of those work for you?"

"T-tomorrow's fine."

"Great, so could I get your name miss?"

_Shit! I hadn't thought they would ask for a name. _"Uh, yes, my name…is…Melissa Waters." _I obviously couldn't give her my real name. I mean could you imagine what would happen if it got out that the police chief's daughter was getting an abortion. Not cool, dude._

"Well, Ms. Waters, we will see you tomorrow at 4."

"Yeah...uh...later…" I hang up, so glad that the worst call in the history of telecommunication was finally over.

_Ok, so what now? _I decide to call the only person who could make me feel better, Alice. After the phone rang for like sixty bazillion times, her voicemail finally decided to make an entrance.

_**Hi! You've reached Alice. Sorry I missed your call, but I'm off doing something ten times more fun. Like skydiving off a cliff, getting a Brazilian, or blowing your boyfriend. If you were cool, you'd be hanging with me, but since you're not leave your info and I'll get back to you…If I feel like it.**_

"Alice, I'm having a Mondo freak out right now! There's a Sour Patch Kid with a pair of scissors outside my room and it's threatening to cut off my hair! Call me back, a.s.a.p. Oh, and before I forget, change your voicemail, ya douche!" I once again set the top half of my clown shoe phone on its base, and huff annoyed.

_What the fuck do I do now? Ugh!_ Had this been any other day, I wouldn't be in this situation. If I couldn't hang with Alice, I go over to Edward's, but I decided to give him so space since I dropped the baby bomb on him yesterday. I don't even know how he'd react seeing me right now. I mean how would you feel? _Oh, Great news! You're going to be a dad! Just kidding, I'm aborting the bastard child! _I know I didn't tell him that, but that's how it played out in my demented mind.

Sometimes you've got to laugh to keep from crying.

~Where It All Started~

Driving into the parking lot of Planned Parenthood, I am actually shocked, which is really saying something; I am rarely caught off guard. _Unless you count becoming pregnant, I don't. _The building actually looks…normal? I don't know what I was expecting…ok I know exactly what I was expecting. Something more along the lines of a dark alley, leading up to a gloomy and ominous looking warehouse that is filled with creepy, voodoo, baby-killing witch doctors.

_**You are such a fucking weirdo!**_

_Well, I haven't taken my…great…now I'm talking to myself. This day just keeps getting better and better._

With a shake of my head, I exit my beloved truck, Lucille, and start my trek toward the clinic. Huh, the building isn't so bad, a little too pink for my taste, but…

"Abortion is murder! Babies deserve to live!" I heard a voice shout.

Angela Weber, straight A student, preacher's daughter, and all-around goodie two-shoes. Shit! Fuck fuckity fuck fuck! What is she doing here? Ok, Bella, calm down. There's still a chance for you to make a run for it.

"Isabella Swan?"

Shit! So Close!

I turn back around to face Angela, begrudged.

"Hi, uhm, Angela, right?" I feign ignorance.

"Yeah, we have AP English and U.S. History together."

"Really? Huh, guess I never really noticed you before." With that statement, we both fall silent. _Could this moment get any more awkward?_

"You don't have to do it, you know?" Angela finally says.

"Do what exactly?"

"Kill your baby." _I guess it could get more awkward._

"Who said I was pregnant?"

"Elizabeth Masen", _**Masen! Why that little**__— "_Her and my mom are in the same gardening club and your pregnancy came up during one of the discussions." _Yeah, because discussing the weird girl's pregnancy fits so well a gardening conversation. You know, right there between the roses and cow shit that helps them grow._

"Yes, well, Angela it's been a pleasure speaking with you but I do have an appointment, I need to be getting to." I say sidestepping her.

"Bella, I really think you should rethink this." She says as I continue my quest toward the building.

"Since when do I care what people think?" I quipped back at her, not once stopping my pace.

"Your baby has fingernails you know." I skid to stop. Well isn't that interesting! Smart move, Weber, well played.

"Fingernails? Really?" I question as I turn to halfway to see her face. She nods. "Huh, who would've thunked it? Hhmm…" I turn back toward the building, continuing my walk.

Once inside I am assaulted with the very cliché hospital scent. Sterile. Germ-ex and bleach. Blech! I walk up to the counter and there's girl behind it. She looks to be around my age. Jet-black hair with blue and purple streaks, her eyeliner is dark and heavy around her dull blue eyes, and her face was set in an impressive I-don't-give-a-fuck look; said look was accentuated by her boringly filing her black polished fingernails.

_Babies have fingernails, ya know. _The voice is back.

_**Not now!**_ I interject.

I clear my throat to get Maria's, according to her name tag, attention. She huffs; apparently I've interrupted some very important filing time. _Oh, how will I live with the guilt?_ She doesn't even look up as she starts to bark out commands.

"Fill this out, and return it, and then we'll call you when a doctor is available." She dictates, handing me a clipboard with an information sheet. _Someone really enjoys their job. Here's my chance to shine. _My inner bitch squeals in anticipation.

"Uh—" Only to be cut off by Maria's irritated sigh.

"Was there something about those instructions that was just so difficult that you couldn't comprehend them?" _Oh, it is so go time!_

"I was just wondering what kind of condoms, would you recommend? Because there are sssooo many out there today! You know, there are ones with lube on both the inside and out, some glow in the dark, some are scented, and others are ribbed (cue wag of eyebrows), oh, there are even flavored ones. Which if you asked me are irrelevant and stupid! I mean when you suck cock, do you put on a condom, Maria?" I continue, not giving her a chance to answer. "Of course you don't put on a condom to suck cock, so why would you need cherry flavored condoms?"

I had to purse my lips to stifle the laughter that was just waiting to break forth from the dumbfounded look on her face.

"Uhh, I don't buy the cherry ones. We give away free boysenberry ones here. I use them because they make my boyfriend's junk smell good." That does it, I bend over, clutching the counter because of the sheer force of laughing so hard.

I straighten up, and wipe the tears from my eyes. "Classy, Maria, Classy." With a shake of my head, I grab the clipboard and make my way over to one of the open chairs in the waiting area.

I ease myself into the uncomfortable plastic chairs, with a pitiful sigh, and start to fill out the sheet.

_Name: Maria Waters_

_Date of Birth: September 13, 1994_

_Social Security Number: 573-000-3234_

The list goes on and on, getting more and more probing and personal on the way down.

_Last known date of menstruation: _

_Date of last sexual activity that you've partaken in_

_Allergies_

_Medications_

_Blood Type_

_Mother's Maiden Name_

I take a break from writing as I feel a slight pain in my wrist from writing and a crook in my neck from bending over the clipboard. I sigh, and let my head rest against the back of the chair as I take in my surroundings. All the walls are covered with informative posters, some advertising various forms of contraception and birth control, others portraying the dangers off having unprotected sex. It's like they are all mocking me. Something moving in my peripheral catches my attention, and I turn to it. On my right, I spot a couple looking as though they are anxiously awaiting their turn, all the while they are doting over a child that is beside them in a stroller. On my left, there's a girl the size of a whale, she looked exhausted yet she was glowing at the same time. She rubbed her belly affectionately, and smiles down at it, I assume that the baby kicked. Angela words from earlier start to dance on my mind. _Babies deserve to live. _I shake my head, hoping that the church girl's words would leave me alone. Time seems to stand still, when suddenly a young woman bursts through the double doors hysterically. She wild and frantic and looks scared out of her mind. She grabs what looks like a purse, and runs out the front door as if the devil himself was on her heels. I pinch my arm hard, convinced that that did not just happen. _I dreaming. Yeah, that's it. This is all just some weird side effect from messing with Sue's not-so-secret stash of Native American drug paraphernalia. _Ouch! Okay, so I'm not dreaming, which means that crazy scene did just happen. Reality hits me like a freight train. _What am I doing? __**Babies deserve to live too. **__I can't do this. _All of the sudden, the walls decorated in all the poster start to close in on me, and the poster start to all laugh manically. My throat starts to tighten up, and it becomes hard to breathe. Fuck, I'm hyperventilating. _I've got to get the hell out of here!_

I quickly throw the clipboard to the floor, and make a mad dash toward the door. I make it out the dooming place, nearly knocking over Angela in my haste. Not that she minded, because the last thing I hear before making it to Lucille safely was her shouting: "Your baby will thank you!"

~WIAS~

"And she goes on about the baby having fingernails. Fingernails, Ali!" I say, recalling the day's events to Alice, as I fall back onto her bed with an exhausted sigh.

"Fingernails? Really?"

"Yeah, really." I say, pinching the bridge of my nose to relieve the tension of the headache that is sure to come.

"That's weird. I wonder if the baby could scratch your cooter, while it claws it way out of you." She states thoughtfully.

"Alice, seriously, not that I would mind to ponder the advantages and disadvantages of a baby having finger nails, but now's not the time."

"Well, when is the time, because I really want to talk about it."

"Oh, I don't know. How about when my life isn't falling to fucking pieces?"

"So you're not going through with the abortion?" Alice says, moving into an Indian-style squat. She's in friend mode now.

"I couldn't Ali, there always the fear of not being able to, but seeing that girl lose her shit, just solidified my decision not to go through with. I mean, I don't think I could've lived with myself knowing that a destroyed a potentially great person."

"So what are you going to do now?"

"I have to swallow my fear and tell my parents, even though they probably already have heard thanks to Elizabeth Masen, and her little weasel of a son."

"Ok, not that I can't wait to see you rip Edward a new one, I meant what you are going to do about the baby?"

"The most reasonable answer is adoption, but I don't want to go through the whole deal with an adoption agency." I sigh, feeling defeated already.

"You should check the penny saver."

"They have ads for parents?" Not that I should be surprised, the penny saver has ads for everything.

"Yeah, desperately seeking spawn." She wags her eyebrows.

"Alice, this is serious! I'm looking for potential parents for an unborn fetus, not three-legged, one-eyed dog named Spot that can ride a unicycle while balancing a huge ball off its nose." I grumble with my signature eye roll.

"I know, you asswipe. There are some really great lookers in there."

"Alice, those are not good people. They'd probably get the baby home, only to torture and neglect it. Throwing it away like three-day old takeout. I mean what outstanding citizen, would put themselves through that kind of humiliation? "

"Ones who are desperate for…the most perfect little angel to complete their family." She says reading the ad in the paper, and she hands it over to me.

"Don't knock it until you've tried it, hon." She sing-songs.

"You will be compensated. Help us complete the circle of love." I scoff/snot at the crock of shit before me.

"That sounds great."

"They sound like a freaking cult! Besides, they already have three kids, they're greedy little bitches!"

"Oh, Bella! How about this one."

They were are Emmett and Rosalie McCarty. They were simple and beautiful. They were perfect.


	5. Fessing Up!

~Where It All Started~

A/N: This story is inspired by the movie Juno. I will from time to time use one or two lines from the movie.

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. And No copyright infringement was intended for Twilight or Juno.**

Chapter 4

I can't do this!

I can't tell them!

I can't do it. I won't do it.

I'll just hitch a ride to Acapulco, have the baby, and become a goat herder. Simple enough, ok, now I just need to—

"Don't even think about it!" Alice's high pitched voice rang out, thwarting my quick exit.

"What are you talking about? I wasn't doing anything!" I defend, feigning innocence.

"Oh, no? So you just weren't just thinking about sneaking out of here and hitching a ride to El Paso?"

I gasp in shock, which causes Alice to roll her eyes. "The thought never even crossed my mind! I can't believe you thought that I was going to run away while being pregnant and not tell my parents! That hurts, Alice. I will never do anything so devious and underhanded. I thought you knew my better than that!"

"Bell, I said it because I _do _know you. Better than you know yourself sometimes. Which is why I know you wouldn't be above running."

I scoff like three or four times, before I answer. "Of course, I wouldn't. I can't believe that you would even—"Alice gives me her _that_ look, emphases on the bitch brow. "And-and-and… yes, ok, I thought about running, but I'll have you know it wasn't El Paso…it was Acapulco.

"Ah, my bad, I guess I'm slipping." She smirks.

An uncomfortable silence falls over us, and it causes me to squirm because my anxiety from earlier has returned tenfold.

"Are you nervous?"

"Pshft! Nervous? Who's nervous? I'm not nervous? Why would I be nervous?" I cringe at my obvious nervousness.

"Oh, you're not nervous, my bad. I just saw you there bouncing for one foot to the other. And I must say that's an interesting potty dance." She finishes with a snicker.

"Oh, bite me Brandon! Of course I'm nervous, who wouldn't be?"

"C'mon Bells, it won't be that bad. I mean, what's the worse they could do?"

"Oh, I don't know! They could kick me out, make me have an abortion, make me keep the baby to teach me a lesson...oh and yeah, they could kick me out!"

"Oh please, Bella, they are not going to throw you out. At the most, Charlie will grunt and then ask for another beer, and Sue will probably cry and wonder why you didn't tell her you were "sexual active".

"Oh, sweet sexy Jesus! I hope not! I hate when adults uses the term "_Sexually active"._ I mean seriously! What does that even mean? Am I going to like deactivate some day or is it a permanent state of being?"

"I don't know, but leave up to you to hate the words sexually active. You're such a dork, Bella."

I have to laugh at that, because it was so true. I take a deep breathe, and strengthen my determination.

"Ok, let's do this." I sigh, and make my way to the living room where my family was located.

I enter the living room, and take in the scene before me. The Mariner's game is on which means my dad is sitting in his La-Z-Boy. Sue is in the love seat croqueting what looks like a picture of a wolf into pillow. Seth and Leah are on the floor, being total dweebs studying and doing homework. Time to wreck this heartwarming tableau of the perfect family, but I gots something to get off my chest. I cough to get the attention of my not-so-normal family.

When all their attention is on me, my determination from earlier flies out the fucking window, and all of the sudden my throat is bone dry.

"Uh…um…hi."

"Hey Bells" Charlie says, and then he diverts his attention back toward the TV.

"Uh Ch-Dad," _Dad, you need to call him dad, it could win you some much need sympathy points later! "_Can you turn off the TV for a minute? I need to tell you guys something."

"Bells, can't it wait? It's the bottom of the 9th, bases are loaded and the Mariners only need one homerun to win the game."

"No, Ch-dad, this can't wait."

He sighs reluctantly. I know this is a hard choice for him. He's never missed a Mariner's game, but he knows that I won't come to him unless it's absolutely necessary. It part of our "You don't tell, I won't ask" policy.

"Charlie you can just Tivo the game. C'mon, Bella obviously needs to talk."

Dad lets out another sigh, but then he turns the television off.

"Ok, Bells, you have our attention, now what?"

"Uh...um…there's no…um really easy w-way to say this, so…I'm just going to say it."

I take a deep breathe, to try to get my wits about me, and not look like a total babbling fool. I was just going to blurt it out. I open my mouth to say the words, but I was cut off."

"You're on drugs, aren't you?" Leah questions loudly. "I knew it."

"Bella, is that true?" Sue asks.

I shake my head, and pick my jaw up off the floor, before I answer.

"No! That's not true! What I was going to say was—"

"You got arrested!" Seth guesses.

That sets Leah off again. "Omg, that has to be it! I mean even though your truck isn't much, you could still—" I couldn't take it anymore.

"God, Leah! Shut your freaking gob, ok? I'm not on drugs, and I didn't get arrested. I'm…I'm pregnant. But I'm not keeping it. I'm giving it up for adoption. I found this really nice couple in the penny saver, and they're going to pay for all the medical bills and expenses and junk. But I'm going to meet them to check them out more thoroughly. I just…thought you guys… would like to know what… was… going on." _There. I finally said. Bring on the yelling and shouting. I'm a big girl, I can take it._

I close my eyes, bracing myself for the onslaught of yelling, crying, and profanity. But it doesn't come. There's only complete silence. I chance a peek through one eye and see that everyone was still there in their original place.

"You're pregnant?" My dad asks, I guess for clarity.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry…And if it is any consolation, I have heartburn that is radiating in my freaking knee caps since like…Wednesday…morning."

"I didn't even know you were sexually active." _I guess Alice was right. And let the gagging commence._

"God, Sue, could we not ever speak those words again. My upchuck reflexes are very hyperactive these days, and I really don't want to revisit the turkey sandwich I had for lunch."

My family falls silent once again. I think they are frozen in shock that is until my dad turns to look at Sue.

"Do you see that coming when she sat us down here?"

"Yeah, but I was hoping she was expelled or into hard drugs, like Leah thought."

"That was my first instinct too. Or a D.U.I. Anything but this."

I smirk, besides the situation. My family knows me better than I thought. Then my dad speaks again, he's awfully vocal today.

"Who's the kid?"

"T-the baby?" I asked, totally and utterly confused. "Uh, I don't really know much about it other than, I mean, it has fingernails, allegedly"

Sue speaks up again. "Fingernails, really?"

"Yeah! I—"

"No, I mean who's the father, Bella?"

"Uhmm…it's Edward Masen."

"Edward Masen?" He asks, his faces showing the perfect rendition of shock.

"What? What's with that face?"

"Nothing. I just…didn't think he had it in him."

"I know, right!" Alice proclaims, and until this very moment, I had forgotten that she was even there.

"Hey! Hey, now! Edward's great…in chair!" I grimace as soon as the words leave my mouth.

Everyone snickers, and I'm so over everything at this moment.

"Oh, grow up...ok! This is a serious th-Wait, dad, Sue, you're not mad?"

"No, why would we be mad, Bella?" Sue asked, looking genuinely concerned.

"Uhm, I don't know. Maybe because I got, you know, pregnant."

"We're not mad, Bella, because we know you're human and that you're going to make mistakes. As long as you, take responsibility for your actions, and do what's best for you and the baby, then we couldn't ask for more." My dad says, and I let out a sigh of relief. "But just so we're clear, the next time I see that Masen kid, I'm punching him in the wiener."

"Not if I get to him first." I mumble. "Well, fams, I, for one, am glad we got this whole baby debacle straightened out." I say, as I try to make an exit. I nudge my head toward the door as a signal to Alice to start making her way over to it. "We're just going to…"

"Hold up, there hot pants!" My dad voice calls to me. "Don't think, you're getting off that easily. Now about this couple, I'm coming with you when you go and visit them, understood?"

"Sir, yes, sir!" I say as I mock-salute him. "Can I go now?"

"Get out of here, you crazy offspring of mine."

That's all I need to hear. I grabbed Ali's hand and dragged her through the front door.

"Speed up, Al, I got some big fish I need to fry. Green-eyed, bronze haired ones."

~WIAS~

Pulling up to the Masen's residence. I realize just how big of a façade, they keep up. The beautiful architecture of the house on the outside distracts you from the sheer evil that occurring on the inside. That evil has a name, and it goes by Elizabeth Masen.

I park Lucille with care and caution along the curb, and I make my way up to the door. I bang on the door obnoxiously, and pray to God, Buddha, Allah, and Gandhi that Elizabeth has somehow died from some crazy Botox related reason. _One could one dream._ I get a pleasant surprise when Edward Sr. answers the door. He usually at work. Eddie Sr. is Fork's most well-known district attorney. He's a hard ass in the court, but a really great guy, once you get to know him. He'd taken a liking to me from the start. I think it was my outstanding people skills, and spectacular personality that won him over. Or it could be that he was just glad to find out that his one and only son, wasn't gay. _I'm going with the former, it strokes my ego better. _

"Hey Big Poppa Eddie! How are the balls hanging old man?"

"Blue, shriveled, and a little to the left." I smirk out our usual unusual greeting. "How are you, Bella, still loud and proud, eh?"

"Haha, you know Eddiekins! Are you going to invite me in or did your manners leave with your sanity?"

"Oh no! My manners only appear when I'm in the presence of a lady." He smirks at me.

"Ouch, that one cut me deep, Big daddy."

"Get in here, wild one!" He says as he moves to give me entrance.

"Is baby Eddie here?"

"Yeah, he's up in his room."

"Cool beans, well, you know where to find me."

"Bella, when are you going to come running into my arms? You really don't have to keep stringing on poor Edward Jr. like this." Edward says with a chuckle. _Tempting, very tempting._

Ya see, as part of our playful/flirting banner, Ed Sr. would always ask me when I would put him out of his misery, and admit my love for him. Not that that isn't a wonderful plan, I mean, if he's not anything, Edward Sr. was a mega hottie. What with the his 6'8" frame, delicious build, deep emerald eyes that crinkle when he smiles, and his salt-n-pepper colored hair that makes him look distinguished. If it wasn't for the fact that I'm not into sugar daddies and his crazy demon of a wife, I would be all over him, all social norms be damned!

"Not that that isn't the best offer I've had in a long time, but I don't think this whole running away together plan is going to sit too well with Liz."

"Speaking of Liz—"

"Oh, let's not!" I groan.

"I know that she was the one who started the whole pregnancy rumor—"

"Oh…uhm…well this is awkward." I let out a nervous laugh. "Uh, it's not a rumor...I'm...uh, pregnant."

"Oh."

"Yeah, but like I told my parents, I'm giving it up for adoption. I couldn't ruin mine or Edward's lives like that."

"Edward?" He asks. "What does Edward have to do with you being pregnant?"

"Uh, hate to break it to you sweet cheeks, but your son managed to not only lose his virginity to me, but to impregnate me in the same night."

"Wow," He breathes out, looking surprised with a small hint of pride in his eyes. "I didn't think he had it in him." _I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that he's stunned._

"I really wish people would stop saying that. And I would think you would have more faith in Edward. I mean he is your son after all. He had to get his charm and good looks from somewhere, because Liz certainly doesn't have either attributes." I tease. He smirks. It's an endless cycle.

"I swear Isabella Swan; you were put on this earth for the sole purpose of stroking my ego."

"Better I stroke your ego, than something else. That's what got us into this whole mess, ya know."

He lets out a deep, throaty laugh then ruffles my hair. "Get out of here, kid."

With a chuckle and shake of my head, I make my way up the stairs towards Edward's room.

"If you're masturbating, hurry up and bust a nut, because I'm coming in."

"That's what she said." Edward says as I make my way into the room.

"I think that qualifies for more of a 'That's what he said' joke, but you get an A for effort."

"You look good."

"Yeah, I hear pregnancy would do that to you." I say, as I make my way over to the bed.

"So you didn't go through with it…the abortion?"

"No, I didn't get it, but it wasn't from your lack of meddling on you and your wack-job of a mother's part."

"Bells, I'm really sorry for betraying you. But I had to do something; I couldn't sit back and let you kill our kid. Now I know, you made up your mind, but just hear me out. Bells, I really think you should really rethink marrying me. I would be the best husband to you and father to the baby. I-I-I would rub your feet when they get sore, run to the store to get you whatever you may crave, I'll love the baby with everything that I am. I-I-I'd—"

"Edward, I don't doubt you. I know that you would make a wonderful husband and an even better father. It's just that…What if I'm a bad mother? I can't do it. I wouldn't even know how to be a mother. You know the situation with my mom. I can't even remember seeing her. The only reason I know that the woman is still alive is because she inexplicably mails me a cactus every Valentine's Day. And I'm like, 'Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings even worse than your abandonment.' Edward you've got to understand that I'm just not ready to be a mother."

He's quite for a long time. He looks pensive, deep in thought. After what seems like centuries, he speaks again.

"You're right, Bella, I don't know what I was thinking."

"Oh, you weren't. You were simply fantasizing about the perks of being married to me." He snorts, and cracks a smile, albeit small. _Mission accomplished!_

"There wouldn't be many besides free sex without guilt, so don't flatter yourself."

I scoff. I couldn't even form a comeback, because he unleashes that crooked grin of his.

"Friends?" I ask, warily, hopefully.

"The best." His grin widening. His grin getting more crooked, and the sparkle in his eyes gets brighter.

_Huh, why is there throbbing at my apex? Uh oh! That can't be good!_

_**A/N: Huh, is Bella getting turned on by her best friend/baby daddy? Love it? Hate it? Leave a review and let me know.**_


	6. School and its Fuckery!

~Where It All Started~

A/N: This story is inspired by the movie Juno. I will from time to time use one or two lines from the movie.

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. And No copyright infringement was intended for Twilight or Juno.**

Chapter 5

_Holy Shit! This is heavier than I expected!_

"You know heavy lifting can really help you at this point." Alice grunts, barely holding up her end of the chair.

"That's sick man, seriously!" I grunt back.

Alice snickers. "You sound like a pubescent teenage boy on the verge of cumming."

I snort. "Yeah, because you so don't sound like you about five minutes away from creaming your pants, you asswipe!

Our snorts and snickers turn into full on gut wrenching laughter! We laugh so hard that we have to place the chair back on the ground.

"So, you were bored? Is that how this blessed miracle came to be?" Alice asks, as we sober up from the laughter.

"Nah, it was more a premeditated act. I kinda always wanted it to happen. The sex, I mean, not getting pregnant."

"When did you decide that you were going to bang Masen?"

"Like, a year ago, in Spanish class."

There I was in Spanish II, bored out of my natural born mind, when all of the sudden a adorably drawn postcard landed on my desk. I picked it up to read as Senior Gonzalez's voice droned in the background. It was from Edward. It was full of color and creativity. The front read _Greetings from Barcelona. _And—

"Aha! Oh my god! I don't know why I didn't see it before!" Alice squeals interrupting trip down memory lane.

"What are you squealing about woman?"

"You love him!" She accused.

I scoff. "No! I don't! (cue the bitch brow) It-It's just extremely complicated, and I'd rather not talk about it in my fragile state." I defend as I cross my arms across my chest stubbornly.

"Yeah, whatever! You may not admit it now, but you will eventually. And when you do, all will be well with the world, and you too will live happily ever after!" She declares confidently.

"Since when does balance in my love life equal to world peace?"

"So what was it like humping Masen's bony bod?"

"It was magnificent, man!"

What Alice doesn't know is that Edward has a really nice body. Toned and fit from football, my green-eyed Eddie's torso is firm and hard. The numerous of hours of chasing a bunch of sweaty testosterone filled guys for a piece of air filled leather has cause Edward's muscles to become more defined but not rippling like a dumb juice head. His abs are ridiculously cut into eight individual sections and his hips form into the deliciously deep V-shape…and…_ what the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I thinking of E. Masen this way? I'm sure it's just the pregnancy hormone…right?_

_**No, it's just that Edward is one hot piece of ass! **__Roxanne purrs, panting like the wanton whore she is._

I spray Roxie with a water bottle and pull myself together so that Alice and I can finish this late night project.

~WIAS~

As I sit outside of the Masen's house, I laugh at my setup I can't wait to see the look on Edward's face when he comes out. The fucktard better hurry up, I don't have all morning. As I am waiting, patiently might I add, for Edward to make an appearance. Fork's High Finest, the Spartans, run past Edward's house, sounding much like a thundering herd of bulls. Coach Clapp (cue immature snicker) the football coach prides himself on having the fastest team in all of Washington, so he makes them run to school each morning. When I see them all running like that, with their penises bouncing around in their shorts, I always picture them naked, even if I don't want to. I have intrusive thoughts all the time. Roxanne being the most recent and annoying one, but she did get me laid, bit then again, that still didn't end up working in my favor…I was brought out my inner musings by an abrupt door slam. I look up, thankful to see Edward, I shudder to think what have went down if Elizabeth had opened the door.

"Hey Mase." I greet, holding my Sherlock Holmes pipe between my lips.

"Hey," He smiles back, all the while taking in my impromptu living room on that Alice and I set up on his front lawn. "Cool tiger, it looks proud."

"Yeah, I swiped it from Mrs. Cope. You know to be such an old bag, she has some really wicked stuff."

"Cool."

"So, your shorts are looking especially gold today."

"My mom uses color-safe bleach."

"Go Liz." I grumble, my mood taking its usual sour mood whenever his bitch of mother is mentioned.

"I'm supposed to be running." He mentions.

"I know." I smirk.

"So is there any reason why you turned my front yard into your very own chill pad?"

"Oh, no reason at all, other than my constant overwhelming need to always keep you on your toes."

"Yeah, because getting pregnant wasn't that much of a shocker." He says sarcastically.

"Wow, Mase, good one! You know your retorts are getting more snarky by the day."

"Well, you see I have this friend, and she always has this bitchy attitude, and I think it's finally rubbing off on me."

"Sounds like a fuckawesome friend, but don't tell your mom, she'd probably have a heart attack." I say as I make my way toward Lucille. "I'm really sorry I had sex with you, by the way. I know it wasn't your idea."

"Who idea was it?"

"I'll see you at school, okay?" I yell as I hop into Lucy and start her up.

~WIAS~

"_Welcome to Forks High School! Home of the Spartans!" _was what the sign read, but I interpreted to be more along the lines of: "Welcome to Hell! We have douchebag jocks, bumb fuck teachers, and a harem of slutty girls!" Ugh, I truly believe that this place will be the death of me, right behind my less than healthy diet and Elizabeth Masen.

As I make my way toward the dungeon of all evil, a wave of pure nausea has me running toward the girl's restroom. In my haste of getting to a toilet before I barf all over my shoes, I nearly run over Tanya Denali and Lauren Mallory, two resident pains in my ass.

"Watch it Swan!" Tanya's horrible nasally voice crackles.

"Yeah, loserella, watch where you're going! We wouldn't want your ugliness to rub off on us."

"Fuck off, you nitwits!" I groan, as the bile races back up my esophagus.

"EWW!" Tanya shrieks. "I always knew you were trashy, but coming to school with a hangover is just sad." She says as Lauren titters.

I could barely hear their annoying cackling over me wrenching out my stomach's contents, which only seems to be enhanced by their god awful cheap perfume that they bathe in. Suddenly Alice, my angel on earth, materializes out of nowhere to help me out of this pitiful situation.

"Leave skanks, now!"

The blowjob twins scoff at Alice, and make no attempt to leave until they turn and get a good look at the feral look that graces Alice's face, and then they bolt out the door like the lavatories are on fire.

Once the restroom is free of Skankapalooza and their puke inducing scent, I am able to breathe a little better.

"Oh, sweetie! Come here!" Alice coos.

"Thanks, Al." I say, but then I cringe at the disgusting taste of bile in my mouth.

Being the awesome chick that she is, Alice pulls out a travel size toothbrush, and miniature tube of toothpaste from her Wally-world of a purse.

"If I never said it before, I love you Mary Alice, never forget that." I gratefully take the gifts and furiously get to work, cleaning my teeth.

"No thanks, needed, I had a feeling you would need those so…"

Once my mouth is minty fresh once more, we leave the restroom, lockers our destination, but before we get their Alice lets out a squeal.

"Look, there's Jasper! Sweet baby Jesus! Who knew that a bow tie and sweater vest could be so hot?" Before I could even answer her rhetorical question, she is skipping her way toward the man of her wet dreams. I continue my journey toward my locker.

I rummage through my locker, which is cluttered with photos of Alice, Edward, and I, in addition to a very special picture of the sexiest man to ever walk this earth, Robert Thomas Pattinson. That man could get it wherever however, and whenever he wants it! Edward claims that I am obsessed, but who wouldn't be? With that magnificent sex hair, gorgeous eyes, firm ass, and jaw worth of porn just for itself alone, the man is sex with legs! Come to think of it, Edward resembles Rob kind of, same crazy hair and jade green eyes that just seem to bore right—_Stop! You will not think of Edward in that manner, especially this close to class time._

Wet panties + boring Biology = a grumpy and frustrated Bella, I muse as I grab my Biology book only to have it collapse.

"Hey, your book fell apart." I look up to see Mike Newton, passing by with his pack of numb nuts followers.

"Yeah." I grumble, not in the mood for his antics.

"It must have looked at your face. Ooohhh!" He high-fives his bunch of dick prick pals, and moves along.

The funny thing is that Newton totally wants me. Oh yeah, he jacks off to fantasies of me frequently. Jocks like him always want the "freaky girls." The ones with the horn-rimmed glasses, and granny footwear, the ones who wear Goth makeup and play the drums, you know. Or the ones who wear Converse All-Stars and want to be children's librarians when they grow up, oh yeah, jocks eat that shit up. They just won't admit it because they are supposed to be into the perfect cheerleaders like Alice, who, incidentally, is into teachers. I laugh at the sad irony that is high school, and make my way to Bio.

Ugh, that class is another pain in my hide. If it wasn't for Edward, Bio genius extraordinaire, I would bomb the class. As soon as the class is called to order by the late bell, the teacher Mr. Banner, tells us to find our lab partners and break into group of fours. I find an empty lab table to reside as Edward silently arrives and begins to unpack, avoiding my eyes the entire time. _Quick, someone sound the gong of awkwardness!_

"Well! Nothing like experimenting!" I say trying to diffuse the awkward as Jessica Stanley and Mike Newton, Forks's High resident on again off again couple, joins us at the table.

"I did the prep questions last night. You can copy my answers, if you need to." Eddie says as he still doesn't look at me.

"Oh, I couldn't copy your work."

"But you copy my work every week." He finally meets my eyes.

"Oh yeah, I'm kind of a deadbeat lab partner, huh?" I blush! _What I never blush! Damn Edward, and his twinkling eyes!_

"I don't mind. You definitely bring something to the table."

"Charisma and good looks?"

"Or something…" He trails off as if there was a double meaning to what he was saying, and I eyed him suspiciously.

He shifts under my glare, and addresses the couple. "So, who's ready for some mitosis" I had forgotten that they were even there.

"Uh, I have a menstrual migraine, and I can't look at bright lights today." Jessica, the dumb bimbo, whines. My eyes roll so hard that I swear that they are going to get stuck.

"Jessica, I told you to go to the nurse's office and lie down. You never listen." Mike sneers at Jessica. _Oh…no…he…didn't!_

"No, Mike, I don't take orders from you and not from any man." _Right, on, sister friend! Don't let that waste of good swallowed sperm talk to you like that! _I chance a peek at Edward, and he looks like he'd rather be anywhere but here.

"You know, you have been acting like this ever since I went up to see my brother in Seattle. I told you, nothing happened!"

"Something happened, alright, I know it did! Because…of…your…eyes? Yeah, they…are…very…cold? That's it! They're cold, Mike. You have cold, lying eyes." Jessica tries to save face. _This is like a horrible horrible train wreck, but for some reason, I can't look away._

"What? My eyes are not lying!" Mike is pissed, now!

"Yes, they are! Since you've been back from Seattle, they have been lying eyes.

This is better than daytime television! Someone needs to break out the popcorn kernels!

"So…we should definitely get cracking on this…" Edward awkwardly tries to deter this lover's quarrel to the lab.

"I'm going to the nurse's office!" Jessica suddenly proclaims.

"Good! Call me when you're off the rag!" _Way to dig yourself even more into the doucher hole there Mikey!_

"Fine! _Call me_ when you learn how to love just one person and not cheat at your brother's college just because you had four Smirnoff Ices and a bottle of Snow Peak Peach flavored Boone's!" _oh, oh! What's that? Oh yeah, that's the last shred of Mike's masculinity flying the coop!_

"Good, I'll be sure to do that, Jessica. I'll make a note of it." Mike is practically shaking with anger, and his face is tinted pink with embarrassment, but he tries to regain a bit of face by furiously scrawling out a fake memo on a piece of paper.

Jessica huffs, and even stomps her feet, before she indignantly flips her hair over her shoulder and storms off.

Not wanting the moment to end with Stanley's overly-dramatic exit, I offer my two-cents. "Snow Peak Peach is the best flavor of Boone's from what I hear. Right, Edward?"

I look over to see that my estranged counterpart is trying to stifle his gut wrenching laughter, very unsuccessfully, might I add.

"Bite me, Swan." Mike growls at me, sneers at Edward, as he snatches his backpack from the table only to have the strap snap, and it send his stuff flying all over the floor. His backpack is filled with an unhealthy amount of condoms, some pills of some sort, what looks like a pair of girl's panties, and what I swear is a fleshlight! The hilarity of this situation and the deep red color that adorns Mike face just causes me to break out into laughter. A laughter that is filled with tears and breathless gasps! Poor Edward ,beside me, is no better. We are both rolling on the floor with laughter as Mike tries to scramble all his explicit items together before someone else sees. But being me, the heartless bitch that I am, can't let the moment go unnoticed.

"Hey, Mike…I knew you we a perv…but…but this just takes it…to a-WHOLE-nother level! Dude, you could…could run your own…sex shop…just out of your backpack!" I shout, even though I really need to get a good lungful of air, but it gets the job done. Soon every head in the class is turned in Mike's direction, and the laughter and teasing starts immediately. What a lovely chain reaction!

"YOU'RE DONE, SWAN! DO YOU HEAR ME? DONE!" Mike shouts as he sprints out the door.

Once Edward composing himself, he returns to his gentlemen like self, and helps me off the floor.

"Bella, that was so epic!"

"Thanks, Eddie, I try my best!"

"You…are…like the coolest chick on the planet!" His eyes are sparkling again, and I feel this strange tugging at my heart. Alice words from earlier present themselves. _Do I really love Edward?_ I know the answer without a shadow of a doubt. Yes. The question is if Edward could ever love me. I'm just his weird, unpopular best friend. Edward could do so much better than me. He deserves better. He deserve a wholesome, church girl, who he can take home to his mom. Some girl who's willing to pop out to or three of his kids once they're married and settled down. That's not me. I don't plan on settling, especially not in Forks. I have dreams, big dreams, that don't include having a baby right now or anytime in the foreseeable future. That's how I know that my decision to give the baby up for adoption is the best for everyone. The baby will have I better life, and so will I, that's a promise. And no one is going to stand in the way of that. No one.


End file.
